Monday, May 4, 2009

Drop your drawers for nudist 5K

Unlike Frank the Tank in "Old School," I've never felt compelled to strip down to my birthday suit and go for a run.

But if I did, I might -- might -- consider participating in the clothing-optional Bare Your Hide 5K, scheduled for the morning of Saturday, May 16, at the Carolina Foothills Resort in Chesnee, S.C. (75 minutes west of Charlotte).

Presented by, ahem, Butts A'runnin Race Enterprises, the run starts at 10 a.m. on gravel roads, transitions to wooded trails, then moves back onto gravel leading up to the finish.

Appropriately, the event is open only to athletes 21 and older. Registration is $25 through Friday, $30 thereafter, via SPORToften. Chip timing will be done by Queen City Timing Services of Mooresville. For full race details, click here.

OK, so I've written most of this with a straight face. But the Beavis in me can't help snickering at the thought of all those, um, appendages flopping around out there. Meanwhile, the realist in me wonders how comfortable can it be for heavier-chested women to run that far without a sports bra ... or for well-endowed dudes to go 3.1 miles without a jock strap.

By the way, it's important to note that the runners out there are likely to resemble a much-older Will Ferrell than Leonardo DiCaprio. (Need proof? Click here to see video from a similar race last month in Statesville.)

And one more thing: The race is closed to the general public, so don't waste your time making the 130-mile round-trip if you're hoping to be a spectator; it's not a peep show!


Anonymous said...

I tried to, but got disqualified for cheating. I was told that have a 3rd leg was not fair to the other competitors.

wcn11 said...

Do like I do and just throw it over your shoulder.

Anonymous said...

Strip down for $5k? Sure no problem

Oh wait, its strip down and run 5 kilometers

No thanks, I'm good

Anonymous said...

I always lead the pack through the woods to clear trees.

Anonymous said...

Can you all imagine the over abundant disgusting stench that would be filling the air around the finish line?

chupacabra said...

This is, thankfully, off the subject but I do a fair number of races around town. Every race I've been in has had hundreds if not thousands of runners. I dare say there are more people running road races in this city than going to Bobcats games. Why then doesn't the CO devote a little more space in the sports section to running?

I know we get that tiny little list of upcoming races on Monday. I saw the Run for Peach [sic] listed, but it would be nice to see more write-ups of events and maybe training tips like the CO does for golf.

Anonymous said...

What happens when the runners shit themselves? I would not want to be following said individuals!